How to

Currently Listening Vertigo By Little Children Jump Yearling see related

I am the luckiest

I roll the window down and then begin to breathe in
the darkest country road and the strong scent of evergreen
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home
Then looking upwards I strained my eyes and tried to
tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home

Do they collide? I ask and you smile.
With my feet on the dash, the world doesn't matter.
When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride
When you need directions then I'll be the guide for all time
for all time...
"Passenger Seat" - Death Cab for Cutie

This song makes me think of myriad situations and people. The frist time I heard it, I thought of the calmest night I've ever felt on the quietest Kansas country road. The more I listened I thought of the hill. You know, my favorite hill of all the thousands of hills in Tennessee. The lookout, the road, the 9% grade on either side... I miss that hill and all the times I drove down it and all the times I was driven down it by Shaun. The line "I ask and you smile" sums it all up. I do miss my Shaunikins  We're both persuing Shane/ Shaynes, so if that's not a sign that we're mentally linked I don't know what is! But I digress.... I also think of all the times and the people I've known well enough to drive me places, from my big bro to Shane. There's just some weird feeling I get when I'm riding shotgun- I guess it's some mix of security, being close to control but not fully responsible, leisure enough to put my feet on the dashboard and look out the window.

This is a totally random post. I know it has nothing to do with anything, but every time I hear this song I get overwhelmed with all these thoughts.

Currently Listening Your Man By Josh Turner Would you go with me? see related

Kentucky Rain is my favorite Elvis song.

I like Elvis. He's so dreamy, and he's from Tennessee. 10 points, postmortem.

It's mad chilly out today. I walked out my door and immediately ran back in to grab my favorite Tualne hoodie, but I'm still freezing. I prefer to keep my grades and the temperatures 80 or above.
When I was walking back from my 9.00 class, I realized that I haven't felt this temperature since I was at Vandy. It feels like forever ago that I was just beginning my college life, taking my first soc class with the amazing Dr Lena, trying to catch an elusive Vandy squirel as a pet, going to Vandy games with Loofie, living alone, and wishing every day that I was in New Orleans. Just today, someone asked me about Vandy and if I liked it. My response hasn't ever changed: I hated it. But, on the inside, I do kind of miss it. I miss Nashville somethin' fierce, I miss how dedicated and studious I was, I really miss going to free SEC football every Saturday, Cafe Coco, and I do actually miss some of the Vanderbrats.
It's really strange to think about all the 'what ifs' of last year: what if Vandy had let us transfer there? What if my family hadn't moved then? What if I had lived on campus? What if I hadn't taken that one class that changed who I am and what I will be? It's pretty incomprehensible to me. But I don't think I'd go back and do it again. It's true that hindsight is 20/20. Looking back, I can gloss over that inescapably lost feeling that consumed me every day. I can overlook how painfully lonely I was without my family, friends, or Shaun. It was a very worthwhile time, but I never care to do it again.
It's wonderful being here, my new home. I can't imagine what I would've missed out on if I hadn't stuck with Tualne and New Orleans. I've met the best people, become sisters with an amazing group, and I've amassed some of the best memories of my life just in the Spring semester. I can't even fathom what's to come. Days like this make me so happy just to be.

"Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting" -John Russell

I’m faced with an interesting and completely new dilemma. There are two boys, and I like them both. It seems like whenever I get into a relationship, all the sudden other boys that wouldn’t have otherwise noticed me show interest. So this year, I swore to myself that I wouldn’t date or get into relationships- I decided to join all the clubs and do all the things I wanted to rather than spend time thinking about/ being with various boys that more than likely will pan. I’m getting into Theta more (I really want to be an officer) I’m on the Theta flag football and volleyball teams, I’m on a Social Justice panel, I joined College Dems and Amnesty International, I ran and won USG Senator, and I do go to class sometimes…
But then Shane happened. I was blowing off steam with Vicky, exploring a new bar, and very far from dressed-to-impress. We ended up loving Uptown Cajun (I’m in love and contemplating moving in…) and we were just chatting with random non-Tulane people. It was really refreshing to get out and not be surrounded by the same people, in the same noisy bar, etc etc. We also spent the entire night talking to a few guys. Shane, the very outgoing one, got the nerve to talk to me and ask me out. Honestly, at first meeting I thought he was just some shady dude that I’d never talk to. Turns out he’s very nice and he skipped the LSU game last Saturday to drive down to NOLA to take me out on a date.
So Saturday night: Shane and I had been talking for the whole week, so the actual date was really fun. I felt very comfortable around him, we talked about all sorts of things, he was super nice and polite, and I could tell he was really wanting to impress me (he got a haircut the day before, shaved, kinda dressed up, acted a bit nervous, etc). He took me to Sweet Fire and Ice, which is amazing food and environment, then we went back to Uptown, of course. The rest of the night went wonderfully, and it crowned the evening when I had to convince him to kiss me on the first date  Needless to say, things went well for the rest of the night. I went home with him- to his parent's house. Hehe. I think it's amazingly funny and still rather cute.

Then Bruce happened. I swear he has some internal radar to be able to tell that I wasn’t thinking about him anymore. My first night back to Tulane he invited me over for dinner, and it went right back to the awkwardness and weird comforts. After that he didn’t call me for a while, and then I got all sorts of weird mixed signals from him. So yesterday, via AIM no less, he straight up asked me what was up and if I’d be interested in going out again. I said I might, and I told him I might see him out later if he went to Uptown.  So that night, outta nowhere, he strolls into Uptown and starts talking to me. Once again he had to drink his courage and he brought a friend along, just like when he broke up with me… So he asked me if I’d give him another chance. I said yes. Because I want sushi from Ninja. (Is that bad?)
So tonight: we went out to Ninja and then back to his appt. Everything was like usual: awkwardness (he asked me about Shane in the middle of dinner, then was oddly quite about it for the rest of the time), everything about his mannerisms, his smell, et all. The familiarity was comforting, but somewhat boring. We did kiss, which will make it weird for sure, but afterwards we did talk like never before. For once I was completely honest in what I said to him and I didn’t stress about impressing him. We talked about the potential to get back together, but I decided to ‘date’ and take time to decide.

Pros and cons time:
 Shane- Wonderfully cute and very nice. He's obviously into me, he calls me and texts me to just say hi. He is very attractive, but only 5'9", and I swear we have the exact same sense of humor. Alas, school: he's 23. He went to UNO for a few years, transfered to UL (Lafayette), then back to UNO just in time for Katrina. UNO lost all of his records, so he's starting over-ish at LSU as a sophomore. Granted he's much older and still in the same grade as me at a school far away, but it's so nice to date someone who's fun yet mature! He like to go out and drink and have fun, but he's responsible and always considerate. It's also kinda nice that he goes to LSU, because I can be uber-involved like I want to and not sacrifice any relationship potental. Also, he was in a frat at UL but not at LSU, which means he understands Greek life but he's not caught up in it. He makes me smile when I talk to him . 
 Bruce- Comfortable and calm. Little things that kind of bothered me before really bother me now, like how he chews with his mouth open, he can be really rude without recognizing it, he's socially awkward and he seems to expect us to fall exactly back into 'us.' He does have money and enjoys spending it on me, which is both flattering and nice on my wallet.  It was nice knowing all about someone and being at home in his appartment. I did still feel awkward with him- every minute I was thinking "I feel fat sitting like this" "he's too tall to kiss standing up" "where should I stand" etc. Durring our little 'chat' he told me he had 2 problems with me: I'm too into Greek life and he thinks my physicallity is too much. Oh my, he don't even know! I'm planning on getting really into Theta (I've thought about getting twin stars tattooed on my hip...) and I kinda enjoy being so physical, even with my sisters.  Apparently that really bothers him because I don't act all prim and propper like he thinks I should. I was very close to telling him, "Sorry buddy, but neither of those 2 things will change about me. Take me or leave me." I restrained myself, even though I did completely crack up when he told me about the 'inappropriate touching' as he called it. Bruce is an old man: he lives alone, has a dog and just generally acts like an older person. He's very calm and nice, but mundane. Oh, and his dog bit my ear and tore out my earing.

I think this blog kinda shows which one is my fav.... I will only decide when I have to, though

Currently Listening Till the Sun Turns Black By Ray LaMontagne Can I Stay see related

Starting now...

I will not put off studying for important things, like the accouting test I'm sure I failed.

I will be proactive in all endevors- friends (cough, SPH), clubs, staying in touch, etc

I will raise my tolerance. Mainly my tolerance for really irritating people, but alcohol tolerance could be improved too...

I will brush my teeth fanatically. I'm not sure why, but it sounds like fun.

I will despise numbers higher than 128.

I will not get sick. Sickness is a mental state which I will not stoop to.

I will blog more, mainly on Xanga. My myspace blog depresses me  I have 1 subscription.

More to come...